Tuesday, 4 November 2014


I dread doors without locks. I dread them so much. No, actually, I hate them. When I enter a room without a proper lock, or in the least bit does not close, I do not feel comfortable. I will look at that door as if it just stole my husband of 200 years and I will literally give it looks. I kid you not. You know why? Because it just robbed me of my privacy. Because it is giving power to the people outside the room when it should be fully possessed by the person inside, which is me. No one loves anything that takes away their power. Doors without locks, I terribly hate you.

If you do not take doors without locks seriously, let me take your mind to situations that will have you appreciating them. Doors with locks should actually replace dogs as man’s best friends. On second thoughts, I take that back. German Shepherds cannot, on God’s humble earth, be compared to doors. Particularly when they do not have locks.

After a long day. Especially one where you have had to deal with people who drive you up the wall, all you want is to relax. Have a good bath with scented candles and sweet smelling shower gel with jojoba oil. Jojoba oil, smh. Eat some really good food. Catch a movie or read a book. Anything your heart desires, but the bottom line is you just want to be alone. Breath the air alone. Have pleasant thoughts alone. Laugh alone (although don’t laugh alone too often, just don’t)

So, go home you do and whatever your heart desires you pursue, but then someone budges in. And one distinct character of people who love to budge in is that they look around, no, the actually walk around, waiting for applause, a standing ovation. As though they have just found the exact location of the Atlantis Empire or they have proven another ancient city exists like Schliemann did Troy or maybe they failed to pay a one week bill at Burj Al Arab and it was not followed up. And if you look carefully they have a folded paper on their breast pocket that has the speech they will give in the event that they get applauded. While you were enjoying your jazz music, or your book in solitude, won’t you be annoyed at such an occurrence? And for as long as that door does not have a lock, the ‘budgers’ will always budge. They are on the loose.

It has been a long five minutes. It seemed like an hour and the few meters like an endless path. Finally, you get to the toilet. Public, for that matter. It could be in school, in the streets, at work, wherever, it is a toilet that more than five people have access to. A toilet is meant to be a place of release, and being a place of release means there should be no tension, there should be no anxiety. You should be calm and relaxed, ask your doctor. Toilets should start playing soothing music for that matter.

So, imagine walking into a toilet that the door is very far from the bowl and…it has no lock. Such are the moments I look up, almost sing a sad hymn as I silently ask “Why?” The soothing music can be given a pass, but the door? No. Why? Because people do not have door manners, especially here in Kenya. Kenyans literally walk in while knocking. And they are so used to the door opening such that if it does not they want to kick it open. And even if you do answer telling them to wait, they will actually open the door so that you tell them in person that you want them to wait and don’t be surprised when they start advising you as to why they should not wait. Sigh, the hassle.

I could give more examples but I believe you get my point now. We should hate doors without locks. All of us. They are an enemy to humanity. They should be banned. Doors should have locks, always.

Because Gertie just enjoys her privacy:)


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Everyone has 24 hours a day, difference is how you use it up. I am a cocktail of a lady who loves art and is tech-savvy.

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