Monday, 13 April 2015


You've got to love africans, or black people in general, for their very expressive nature. No, this is not a racist article, these days you have to tread carefully, almost anything you do, whether innocently or not, can be branded racist. Racism is in no way my intended desire. This is just me appreciating my heritage. A very humorous one for that matter. So, lets get on with it.

Recently, My sister was watching a stand up comedy by Trevor Noah. And as always, for everyone I believe, there is always that one joke that will floor you and you will laugh so hard to expose the ends of your jaws, and for that reason, that joke will always stick in your mind. For her, it seems she had one too many. She has almost crammed the whole thing! Together with the accent yo! She says the whole joke together with him, and then she laughs so hard. Crazy. Anyway, I walk in on her in the middle of watching this rather crazy guy, who apparently has been accused of being racist too (news that I should not be following). The humorous story being told was about how Vernacular gets mentioned way too many times in South Africa (and Africa as a whole, of course) it begins to sound like a Villain, just like Dracula. And then he begins to tell of how if there actually was a Villain by that name, from South Africa of course, how he would behave. Hilarious my friends.

So, as is the usual reaction when you see someone laughing very hard, I stood there watching so that I could also get something to laugh about, or at, depending. On seeing me, she begins to tell me of this other joke. About how a white guy and a black guy (actually a white guy raised in Africa and now he has these characteristics we possess) narrate the story after a plane crash has occurred. Stay with me, here are the two accounts;

Account one.

White guy: We was flying eh, we was flying, then the pilot said, brace yourselves. And we wasn't flying no more.

News Reporter: And there we have it people, a survivor from the crash has just shared his experience.

Account two.

Even before the reporter asks him anything.

Black guy: Yooo! Yoooo! Yoo! Yooo! Yooooooo! You don't wanna know men, you don't want to know.

Reporter: Tell us sir, what really happened?

Black guy: Yoooooo! Yoo! Yoooo! Yo! So The plane was flying vuuuu vuuuu.  Then a lady came and asked me if I want a drink, I told her yes. The plane was still flying vuuuu vuuu. She served me the drink, it was nice. Then all of a sudden we heard Paa! and then the plane began shaking! *He also moves to imitate the plane shaking* And people were screaming and children were falling everywhere! A man came to take my drink, I told him stop! That is mine! And I drank it all. The plane was still shaking. We were going down, but out pilot was another one yoo! He pulled something and we went that way yoooooo!!

News Reporter: How do you feel having survived?

Black Guy: I was not in the plane ne! I was in my house.

Sounds familiar? I mean a black guy will always tell you a story like he was there, even if he was not. And he will always make it come alive as best as he can. And how does he do that? With his actions and his words. When someone tells me a story so well, a thought always crosses my mind like "He/She paid attention during Tanakali za sauti" And I wonder why we get taught that, and it is only in Kiswahili, and that is a local language. I am sure the people who came up with the rules (Wahenga and Co) must have known that a language has not been spoken until such sounds are incorporated, I mean how else would people enjoy that language then?

I was home for the weekend and my dad and his brother were around, and I remember my dad saying;

 "Eh! Tuleteeni maziwa tukunywe kotyo kotyo"

And I know I do this too. And so do most of you. When its cold, there is a sound expression for that,

"Ma! Si kuna baridi wuuu"

When something dramatic has happened;

"Heeeh! Sululu! Ati kumefanyika nini? heheeee! Eeeei, kwisha maneno"

Whatever the situation, there is always a way black people put it. And I always love how they put it.

Enjoy your week, I hope it goes nyweeeee:):)



  1. Hahahahaha. This one. This one is just another one yo. This one has finished me ophuu.

    1. Haha ophuu deeeead deeaad ayayaya deeead

    2. Hahahahahahaha. Akh, unanimalisa yayee.

  2. And I am loving the new look. Just thought I should point that out :-)

  3. Yooooo Yoooo this one has killed me. Especially that part says he was in the house. Hahaha

  4. Yooooo Yoooo this one has killed me. Especially that part says he was in the house. Hahaha

    1. Hahah Trevor always kills it, and his jokes are always so relatable.


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